The Ins and Outs of Having Family and Friends Officiate Your Wedding

Having a loved one marry you can make your wedding ceremony extra special. But before you get swept up in the creative details, there are some important legal steps to consider.

This guide will walk you through everything you need to know about having a friend or family member officiate your wedding, from navigating the legalities to creating a ceremony that reflects your unique love story.

Legal Information

Before diving into creative details, ensure your ceremony will be legally binding. Licensing requirements vary — a lot — by location. In some areas, a one-day officiant license is available, while others require a government-sanctioned official.

Do your research! This is especially crucial for destination weddings.

For example, Megan Sawchuk Weddings is located in Alberta, Canada; and in our province, people can be licensed to perform a single wedding on a specific day. However, in neighbouring British Columbia (BC), this doesn’t exist and you have to use a government licensed marriage commissioner. We have some clients who get married in BC even though they live in Alberta, and this little difference sometimes trips them up when it comes to the legality of their marriage.

Once you understand your options, you can decide how to proceed:

• Option 1: One-Day License: If your chosen location allows it, your friend or family member can apply for a one-day officiant license.
  
• Option 2: Licensed Marriage Commissioner: You can opt for a licensed marriage commissioner authorized to perform weddings in your jurisdiction.
  
• Option 3: Symbolic Ceremony: If the legalities are complex, you can have a legal ceremony beforehand, followed by a beautiful symbolic ceremony officiated by your loved one on your wedding day.

From here on for this blog, we are going to assume that you have taken care of the legality of your ceremony and outline our tips for when you have a family member or friend perform your wedding ceremony.

Paperwork

If your officiant needs a license, make sure they apply well in advance to avoid any last-minute hiccups. Help them understand how to fill out and submit your marriage license. Gathering your witnesses’ information beforehand and providing it to the officiant can also save time during the ceremony.

Making it personal

Writing the ceremony script takes time and creative thought. Be ready to offer guidance and personal touches to your officiant!

If your ceremony is legally binding, don’t forget to include the required legal phrases.

Beyond that, the script is your canvas to paint a beautiful picture of your love story! Just remember not to wait until the last minute – give yourselves plenty of time for revisions and for your officiant to practice delivering the ceremony with confidence.

Ideally, your chosen officiant is comfortable with public speaking. To ensure a flawless ceremony, encourage them to practice beforehand. Discussing specific cues or information to include in the script can also help them avoid forgetting anything on the big day. These cues could be anything from announcements and music cues to when guests should stand or sit, who holds the rings, who has the vows, dividing up sections for readings, pronunciation help for tricky names, and stepping aside for the first kiss!

Public Speaking

Hopefully, you have chosen someone who is comfortable with public speaking as this role has a lot of it. To make sure that everything goes well, we suggest that they practice the ceremony even before the rehearsal. It may be worthwhile to sit down and discuss specific information or cues for the ceremony as these can be added to the ceremony script so that they are not forgotten.

Cues or information to include…

• Housekeeping or announcements that need to be made before the ceremony begins
• Cue words that signal to the musicians/DJ and the planner on when to start the procession
• Asking guests to stand for the bride and/or groom (depending on what you want)
• Asking guests to sit back down
• Asking for the rings and who will have them
• Who has the personal vows
• Dividing up sentences for repeat-after-me sections
• Phonetic phrasing for hard to pronounce words or names
• Moving out of the way for the first kiss (super important!)

Sound Amplification

We have encountered some family and friend officiants who do not know how to use a microphone or assume that they can project their voice enough.

We always ask our couples to provide a microphone and sound system. First, you do not know which of your guests may be hard of hearing and amplified sound will make sure that they feel included in the ceremony.

Second, on the day of the wedding, everyone involved will be a little bit nervous and when you get nervous you get quieter. Having a microphone means that if you are a bit on the quiet side then the important words that you are saying will not be missed.

And third, for outdoor weddings, you will be battling Mother Nature and your surroundings to be heard and a sound system will get your voices up and over anything in your surroundings.

Your officiant should also be able to hold the microphone for you during your vows so that you can focus on the words!

Rehearsal

It is very useful to have your family or friend officiant present at the rehearsal. This gives everyone an opportunity to iron out any of the wrinkles before the wedding day, which always makes everyone a little bit less nervous on the day of the wedding.

If you don’t have a planner or coordinator, your officiant may have to take the reigns of the rehearsal and guide everyone through it. If this is the case, we suggest that you give them the processional order and any music cues so that they know how you would like these things to proceed.

Day of the Wedding

For officiants, we always suggest that they arrive 30-45 minutes before the ceremony so that they have time to place the license on the signing table, fill out the witness information, do a sound check, check in with the couple as they arrive, gather any important people for the processional, and be ready for the ceremony.

Following these tips will definitely make sure that you have a smooth wedding ceremony. Remember if at any time a small mistake is made, laugh it off and don’t let it consume you. Nerves are high and sometimes weird yet wonderful things happen. And those are part of the memories that you will have of the day!