By Megan Sawchuk
•
03 May, 2024
Legal Information Before you commit to having a family member or friend officiate your wedding, you need to check the legal requirements in the location where you are getting married. This is especially important for destination weddings as regulations can change from province to province, state to state, and even country to country. For example, Megan Sawchuk Weddings is located in Alberta, Canada; and in our province, people can be licensed to perform a single wedding on a specific day. However, in neighbouring British Columbia (BC), this doesn’t exist and you have to use a government licensed marriage commissioner. We have some clients who get married in BC even though they live in Alberta, and this little difference sometimes trips them up when it comes to the legality of their marriage. So what do you need to do… First Question: Does the jurisdiction or area that you are getting married allow people to get a one-day licence to perform a marriage? Option 1: If the answer is yes, then proceed and ensure that your selected person submits the paperwork to become licensed. Option 2: If the answer is no, then you can proceed with a marriage commissioner who is licensed for your wedding jurisdiction. Option 3: If the answer is no, you could alternatively do the legal ceremony before your wedding day and then have your family member or friend perform a symbolic ceremony for you on the day of your wedding.’ From here on for this blog, we are going to assume that you have taken care of the legality of your ceremony and outline our tips for when you have a family member or friend perform your wedding ceremony. Paperwork If your selected person can receive a one-day licence, make sure that they submit their application and follow up on it so that you don’t have any surprises a few days before your wedding. Also, make sure that they know how to fill out your marriage licence and how to submit this properly for you. You don’t want things to get held up or delayed because your selected person did not submit the paperwork properly. One thing that can be extremely helpful is to gather the information for your witnesses before the ceremony and give that to the officiant so that they can pre-fill that information before the ceremony starts. That way your signing of the licence goes a bit faster and mistakes are less likely to happen. Ceremony Writing The actual writing of the ceremony is the biggest time investment and as the person getting married you will probably have to provide more direction and prompts. If the ceremony will be legal rather than symbolic, make sure that any legal phrases or statements are incorporated into the ceremony. And then after that you have room for a lot of personalization. Do not leave this to the last minute! Allow time for revisions to be made and for your selected person to practise the ceremony. Public Speaking Hopefully, you have chosen someone who is comfortable with public speaking as this role has a lot of it. To make sure that everything goes well, we suggest that they practise the ceremony even before the rehearsal. It may be worthwhile to sit down and discuss specific information or cues for the ceremony as these can be added to the ceremony script so that they are not forgotten. Cues or information to include… Housekeeping or announcements that need to be made before the ceremony begins Cue words that signal to the musicians/DJ and the planner on when to start the procession Asking guests to stand for the bride and/or groom (depending on what you want) Asking guests to sit back down Asking for the rings and who will have them Who has the personal vows Dividing up sentences for repeat-after-me sections Phonetic phrasing for hard to pronounce words or names Moving out of the way for the first kiss Sound Amplification We have encountered some family and friend officiants who do not know how to use a microphone or assume that they can project their voice enough. We always ask our couples to provide a microphone and sound system. Why? First, you do not know which of your guests may be hard of hearing and amplified sound will make sure that they feel included in the ceremony. Second, on the day of the wedding, everyone involved will be a little bit nervous and when you get nervous you get quieter. Having a microphone means that if you are a bit on the quiet side then the important words that you are saying will not be missed. And third, for outdoor weddings, you will be battling Mother Nature and your surroundings to be heard and a sound system will get your voices up and over anything in your surroundings. Your officiant should also be able to hold the microphone for you during your vows so that you can focus on the words. Rehearsal It is very useful to have your family or friend officiant present at the rehearsal. This gives everyone an opportunity to iron out any of the wrinkles before the wedding day, which always makes everyone a little bit less nervous on the day of the wedding. If you don’t have a planner or coordinator, your officiant may have to take the reigns of the rehearsal and guide everyone through it. If this is the case, we suggest that you give them the processional order and any music cues so that they know how you would like these things to proceed. Day of the Wedding For officiants, we always suggest that they arrive 30-45 minutes before the ceremony so that they have time to place the licence on the signing table, fill out the witness information, do a sound check, check in with the couple as they arrive, gather any important people for the processional, and be ready for the ceremony. Following these tips will definitely make sure that you have a smooth wedding ceremony. Remember if at any time a small mistake is made, laugh it off and don’t let it consume you. Nerves are high and sometimes weird yet wonderful things happen. And those are part of the memories that you will have of the day.